Colonel Gordon Stamford Halloween Special: The Pigeon
A spooky poem with a nod to Edgar Allen Poe. You can read the poem while listening to the episode below.“The Pigeon”
A Colonel Gordon Stamford Halloween Adventure Once I slumbered wetly drooling, from my mouth, the spit unspooling,
After many a brave and intrepid adventure never had before.
While I muttered, hardly waking, suddenly there came a shaking,
As of something faintly raking, raking at my closed front door.
“Tis some hooligan” I muttered. “Raking at my closed front door-
Only this and nothing more.”
Then it seemed a bird-like scratching, sounded like the claws were catching,
I waited and such a noise I heard again once more.
So I waddled, hardly stable, walking more than I thought able,
In my haste I banged the table, table leaving me quite sore.
Then broke into my chamber, surprising me when I was still quite sore-
Through the catflap, I had never seen before.
And I spied me there a pigeon thinking, staring at me, eyes unblinking.
With shining eyes that instantly I abhor.
Looking at me, my heart sinking, wishing I was out and drinking,
In the pub, with glasses clinking, clinking with my comrades from the war.
“Would I where there” I remarked, with my comrades from the war.
Not this pigeon, with his eyes I can’t ignore.
And that pigeon, he was glaring, eyes upon me, fixed and staring.
As I nursed my injury from my place upon the floor.
That’s not all that was doing, looking at me, faintly cooing,
Furthermore the bird was pooing, pooing like a hell-beast of old lore.
“Will you desist?” I screamed at that pooing hell-beast of old lore.
Said the pigeon, “Nevermore.”
When I saw it, shocked and peering, and my mouth was vaguely sneering.
At that hideous mess that dropped my jaw.
Certainly I was not sniffing, couldn’t help but keep a-whiffing,
While the Pigeon came a zipping, zipping round his new décor.
Once again he let loose, adding to his new décor.
There was effluence galore.
To the door I started crawling, exhausted, my body hauling.
Trying to keep my distance from the filth congealing wetly on the floor.
Stuck and shattered, I was sobbing, clutching at my leg a-throbbing,
Grabbing objects and still lobbing, lobbing in my fury I outpour.
And that pigeon at whom my fury I outpour
He will leave me. Nevermore!
The Two Show Chinese New Year Special
A special edition of The 2 Show capturing the sights, sounds and smells of London’s Chinatown. The programme also features a link up to Hong Kong on the first day of the Chinese New 8th February 2016.
The Two Show Live at Theo’s Big Switch On— Horsham Sussex 28th November 2015
The 2 Show team have recorded a Unit Radio seasonal special on location at the switching on of Christmas lights at Theo’s Big Switch On. Tone and Connor travelled to Horsham in Sussex to interview 12 year old Theo Comber who organised the event to raise money for the charity Ambitious about Autism.
They also took the opportunity to have a few words with Chris Aldridge (radio 4 continuity announcer and news reader) and actress and founder of the Born Free Foundation Virginia McKenna OBE. Chris compered the event and Virginia switched on the lights.
The latest offering from the Unit Radio team is a seasonal play, written by Saffy Ivory and starring Connor Seales and Francesca Rennie. The story tells of a world where Santa has been become extremely grumpy and upsets most everyone in the world. What has caused Santa’s current frame of mind? Will he ever be able to overcome his misery? Find out in Santa’s Clause.
This year’s Halloween Special features a selection of our new talent working alongside some of our most experienced members. These Malling School pupils will attempt to scare you silly with a selection of Halloween memories, potions and poems. Plus some truly terrifyingly terrible jokes! Listener beware!
click on an image below to read it
Halloween Special – listen to “Ghosts of the Black Heart”